144 posts from 2007

:-(

One more thing. Results. I didn't get the complete set of As, I missed one. More sickening is that I got a B for the subject on my own religion, which I love wholeheartedly and took me by surprise. I felt quite uneasy anyhow the previous night, with Chelsea's bad luck (of course, everything's got to do with football) and my brother's stupid "epiphanies". I didn't cry, I couldn't cry and I wouldn't cry. I think that it's not good enough. I feel average. I feel semi-stupid. I feel that my fight was not worthy of this little slip that determines which alphabet you get. A, B-- they're only next to each other. So I wish people could stop congratulating me because I know I can do better, you know I can do better, everyone knows I can do better. Sigh! And there's this kid, I'm pretty sure you read my blog, no? Please stop being me. I mean, my friend told me about your MySpace profile and it is absurdly very Myra-induced. I'm sorry but you're a pretty girl, and you shouldn't be wasting your time with all of this, alright? Come on, everyone knows I'm practically the only one who lusts over Maksim Kalinichenko like a  madwoman and the others-- well, I think you know it, kid. Good luck finding your own self, alright? No grudges because I'm trying to be classy. POST_SCRIPT Seems like you didn't learn anything after all. It's fine by me, really. I'm the cool one here :-D (konon) But yeah, keep on finding your identity. Even if it takes time. Try.

[MUSIC] Rogue Wave - Lake Michigan

:-)

First off, I haven't had this much fun with my siblings in a long time-- well, not very long, but still, it was really nice to share a car again and make sarcastic remarks about each other :-) I'm fast forwarding to Day Two because Day One; we arrived at midnight, I crashed in the boys' room and watched football there by brother J's invitation, slept in between brother J and brother K, got farted on a lot (I was half-awake, so I don't give a damn) and that's all. The next morning, that is Day Two; went to the akad nikah ceremony after getting ready and all dressed up. Brother W was in his white baju melayu, and he looked good. His future wife (by then) looked good as well. That evening, my brothers and I all went to the beach-- it was long since I've felt rough waves run between my legs and so forth. I've missed the ocean so much despite my incapability to swim, sigh. Was with my little cousins, and we all went for dinner that night. Had a satay eating contest on our table, me not included (finished my cousin's room service orders, good Lord it was nice) and brother A won with 31 sticks, my cousin comes in second with 29, K with 28 and J gave up on his 26th stick. Funny, really! Day Three was amazing. In the morning, had breakfast with all of the relatives and such. Left behind brother J because he was late, and then he behaved like an emo kid that he is-- and we had to pick him up. Skip to the great part-- when my parents were about to do this traditional thing called "merenjis", my brother was crying. I don't know what moved him, but it moved me, and moved my aunt. And then we laughed about it (my sister and I, we're so heartless I don't know why!) So that was an incredibly sweet moment that he cried, despite everyone was looking and such. That evening, went to another beach and was greeted by this awfully strong wind-- which contributes to the strong waves, very nice might I add. That's all, really-- but it was fun. Spending time with my family. Even if I'm losing another member of my family from this house :-(

[MUSIC] the Spinto Band - Brown Boxes

Oh and--(!)

I'm going to pick up my much-awaited results tomorrow. I'm nervous shitless and I certainly do not possess the same amount of confidence I had two months ago. I want it so bad, I'd sell my soul (collection of shoes) or sell my organs (collection of bags). I know I've done my best, though I am a little bit skeptical on if "my best" will get me an A. So tomorrow, I'll be in my turtleneck and jeans. In case I wallow.. and that's not a good thing. So for you, the ones who're taking your results tomorrow (though I'm not sure who even reads my posts, maybe just me, eh?), may the force be with you :-) And I am still nervous shitless I need to type something to brush off these unwanted feelings. God, have mercy to the powerless (me)!

[MUSIC] People In Planes - If You Talk Too Much (My Head Will Explode)

:-(

Slept a little bit, but that's not important. What's important is one particular Boxing Day Premier League match that had me jump for joy, sulk and mourn, drowned my sorrows in After Eights and made me high-five Mom who was completely clueless of the reason why. First off, Aston V did beat us back then when Jose was in charge and things weren't going so well. So I thought.. Hey! Though the match was highly entertaining, except where Ashley Cole and Carvalho was sent off (much to my dislike, because we don't have Terry, and Ben Haim is just a useless piece of shit). Aston V scored the first goal, poor defending by us, good set-piece by them. I threw the pillow to the ground. Second goal by Aston V, Cech's mistake. I screamed "Bodoh Helmethead!". Then Chelsea scored with a penalty taken by the mighty Shevchenko. I shrieked with joy. Fourth goal, by us-- we managed to catch up! Also by Shevchenko, a stunner by him, assisted by (the uber sexy) Ballack. I shrieked with joy some more. Fifth goal by Alex, with that incredible volley. I shrieked with joy some more. Sixth goal by Laursen. Slammed my phone. Seventh goal by (the uber sexy) Ballack. I high-fived Mom, and did the Octopus Dance. Eighth goal by Aston V. Everything comes to an end. I hate nasty outcomes-- we should've won, we were in control, we were somewhat unfortunate but it was a well-deserved game. I stood up practically the last thirty minutes of it. Let me tell you, it was goddamn worthy of my time.

P/S: I forgot how good (and sexy) Ballack is after that 6-month long absence. Ich liebe dich!

[MUSIC] Minipop - Like I Do

:-8

Spent yesterday browsing through furnitures at IKEA, though there's nothing to complain about, I love how these Swedish furnitures smell. Walked alone to the Curve and was amazed by the decorations (which I was completely unaware about when I walked in the evening) and the amount of people in that one particular walk path. Queued for donuts and watched people for a couple of minutes. Went to try my luck if my hair salon was opened and it was not so I guess my haircut is yet again delayed. I am so not ready to pick up my results despite the much-loved confidence I had back then which now is ultimately non-existential. I am freaking scared. Worries aside, had lunch today with a bunch of people and went to my school for books, failed (but with a full stomach, so angst was spared) and went home to two seasons of My Name Is Earl on my computer table. I'm contemplating on where to celebrate my New Years eve and was thinking of the Curve because it's pretty.. Hah. And the crowd. I'm leaving for Kuantan already tomorrow and I don't know what to do. Thank God my pets are coming with me. K, J, A & the one who's getting married. They grow up so fast :-) Ah and tonight, Chelsea versus Aston V at our stadium-- not much worry, but they did beat us 2-0 at their own grounds. And Arsenal versus Portsmouth. Make me proud, Sulley Muntari! (And mainly because I really detest them getting three more points, Ya Allah, stop the winning streak already! Tak puas hati ni!)

[MUSIC] You Say Party! We Say Die! - Stockholm Syndrome Part Two

2008 :-)

So before I say goodbye to another sufficing year-- I think I'd list down a couple resolutions and whatever greatness that I've achieved.. somehow in the midst of little catastrophes and other profane acts. I've learned that strong determination (followed by generous acts of God) will pay off and rewards you confidence within. And I've realized that my family is the most important thing in the world besides my religion, no matter what anyone does, no matter how much they curse at me or vice versa and no matter what happens. This is heavily influenced by something that happened earlier this year along with the countless aftermath blog posts filled with atrocious, vicious words aimed directly at a particular person. Fast forward few months later, I'm all good and we're all good :-) And I highly regret everything I wrote down in the end, despite the scarring of it all. Another thing I'm proud of is quitting the fags. Even if the months after that I've been fantasizing the last moments of puffing away and wishing for it to be repeated again. And again. And again. It's like Matt Damon, but on a piece of stick. You always want more. So God's been blessing with me a supremely perfect support system (with a little flaws of course, but recoverable) and the ones who wouldn't give up one me after all the shit I've caused and all the shit I've been causing and all the shit I will cause in the future-- whilst being unaware of it all. And next year I'll try to be good, but if I were you, I wouldn't hold my breath. Why waste your youth-- remember? ;-)

[MUSIC] Beirut - Fountains and Tramways

Zilch.

Slept from eight in the morning until seven in the evening, hence no lavish plans throughout the day. Didn't get my hair cut, didn't get to spend cash on luxurious foods (donuts, quesadillas, fajitas) and didn't do anything productive as well. Downstairs everyone is watching MI:3 therefore banishing any hope of catching the Milan versus Milan game.. but thank goodness that SportingLife has a live scoreboard :-) I'm making plans for the last week of school, and before I go to Kuantan, Pahang for my brother's wedding. Two or three outings and one last sleepover to end this much-loved year and start on our resolutions and whatnots. I, am trying to save up for my own luxury handbag under the name of Chloe or, Marc Jacobs or (I'm saving this for the last, because the last ones are always the impossible ones) Chanel. And I let out a big sigh. Tujuh ribu untuk handbag timeless and I'm only reaching sixteen. Big dreams, my friend.. big dreams. I'm slightly running out of cash and hopefully my darling parent (any) will contribute some for the last week of my social life. Next year, I'll be sixteen and (hopefully) will be concentrating on dissecting things and Biology and my best friends will be facing SPM, hence they can't go out much and that will undoubtedly hurt. Last night E called right after a phone call, so that was nice-- it's been a while since we've talked for an hour or so and he's doing good :-D I miss expressing my ways of affection to the people I love in ways such as "Fuck you" that means "I love you" so we ended our conversation with; "Fuck you, E." "Fuck you too, Myra." You may all know now that I'm not a fan of mushy love lines. Unless of course, you deserve it (insert naughty wink here).

[MUSIC] Elefant - Make Up

P/S: That's Leigh Lezark, by the way. Probably someone I want to be in ten years.

:-D

Dressed up in a bandage skirt and that droopy buttoned aqua top and tights topped off with my chain belt, and a friend, went to Mid V with my Mom and my brother to find something nice for a relative who's celebrating their anniversary. Anyhow, I think mushrooms are giving me allergy reactions (whoa, first allergy!) but I'm not quite sure, and I don't want it to be because the mushroom burgers at Burger King are so delicious :-( Met up with Khalis and Ariff and had them tag along with me all through my shopping process :-) Thank you, lads. Watched National Treasure II because there's no other interesting movies to catch (Juno's not premiering here, and American Gangster is a month away, and The Kite Runner is due in March, I think-- good Lord you don't know how much I want to see that badly because the book left me quite teary-eyed) and turned out to be a nice, slightly hilarious movie. Waited for Nasya and we had the longest hug ever, probably? Shrieking and all jolly-- well, I haven't seen her since June last anyway. She was a stunner in her white t-shirt and black jumper (which I suspect is from H&M, am I right? :-D) and so we walked, browsed through shops.. for an hour and a half or so. Said our goodbyes, departed with Khalis who's apparently holidaying in KL for three days, staying in MO. Sadly, Ariff's phone got snatched in the midst of trying to get into the train and the crowds.. ouch, no? I've learned to keep my bag tightly in place in these dire moments. Got home and my brother W bought me a black Casio watch. I was stunned and amazed by his sudden kindness but mostly stunned because this is my brother, who rarely buys me food when I need it. Not what I'd wear though, but moved by the thought, I think I'm going to wear it :-) He said it was for my pre-PMR result gift because he's so confident I'll get straight As. Aw. Tomorrow I'll be at the Curve probably, getting my haircut (hopefully this time, for real) and clean my room. There's a mountain of clothes not ironed yet, jeans all over the floor, my towel on my bed.. you get the idea. This isn't me.. I'm a freaking neat freak. Ah and, Arsenal 2-1 against Tottenham. Shit.. and Portsmouth losing to Liverpool. Awful shit. Let's all hope Chelsea win against Blackburn tomorrow and Ballack to appear again.. mainly because he's sexy and I love sexy men. Someone's calling. Goodnight.

[MUSIC] the Von Bondies - C'mon C'mon